Weathered…but alive
I was talking to a mentor the other night and we had been on the phone for quite a bit when I asked “Aunty N, do we ever stop fighting? As humans…As Christians? Looks like there’s always one hurdle to scale, or one lesson to learn, one thing to go through… Is there ever a point where we just rest?”
“I don’t think so, my dear…” she then went on to talk about how God gives strength and grace…
It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear even if it was the truth.
But I eventually realized that I was asking the wrong question…
The call had started with me bawling my eyes out while on a long rant about this and that. Then at some point, she started to speak about her life and some struggles she’s dealt with. When she was done, I went quiet.
Now Aunty N is the most “seize-the-moment” grown-grown adult I have ever met. The first time I met her I thought “My! this is a woman that is living her own life and living the heck out of it!” She walks into a room and charms all but the doorknob with her smile and warmth. Her laugh is like a child’s. Her hugs? Unforgettable. She comes across as a fearless, happy-go-lucky person. Like someone who has never been touched by pain.
But when she finished (what I suspect was only a part of) her story that night, I forgot all of my pain in that moment.
This was someone who has known hurt, who has been fighting different battles since she was only 3.
And here she was seemingly untainted, unfettered by it all.
That was the answer I had been looking for, even with the wrong questions.
That though this fallen world comes with a lot to deal with. It is possible to live fully through it all.
Tbh I’ve never been too surprised by the fact that this world comes with troubles. But one thing that has troubled me is the thought that the battles change us, deep inside…and not in a good way. I’d worry that we all come out of whatever hurt is happening at that moment less joyful, less hopeful, less able to participate, less about life.
But hearing Aunty N speak on that call. Knowing who she is despite all she has dealt with. It was a firm reminder of words Father had told me in so many ways before(bless Him for His patience😩).
— Storms, pain are a part of this fallen world. But in Father’s hands, the blows mold not break —
